DAZL

Controlled experiments that split your userbase in two so you can scientifically prove which version disappoints them faster.

Use A/B testing to learn, not just to win. Testing should illuminate user behavior, not just validate team assumptions. Resist optimizing for surface-level metrics like click rates if deeper metrics like satisfaction or loyalty suffer. If version B wins but everyone hates it later, you didn’t optimize — you gambled and lost.

The fine print of deliverables. A list of conditions that must be met to avoid arguments later. Mostly invoked after it’s too late.

Acceptance criteria are the last place you can save a user’s future patience. Demand clarity now or prepare for apology emails later.

A software bandage applied to a gaping wound of noncompliance. Marketed as inclusion, deployed as risk mitigation.

Accessibility overlays are not magic. They often mask problems instead of solving them, and may actively harm users who rely on assistive tech. Fix your semantic structure before slapping on a widget. Compliance isn’t compassion — and overlays rarely provide either.

A boundary set in pencil and erased in Sharpie. Where dreams go to shrink.

ABM works when personalization feels respectful, not creepy. Design campaigns and landing experiences that recognize users’ needs, not just their budgets. Real relevance is never canned.

The pretense of humility in UX. We act like we’re listening, but we’re mostly hoping users confirm what we already built.

Measure activation by what users actually accomplish, not just whether they click a button. Real activation is when users get the value and can act on it. Celebrate understanding, not motion.

The preemptive framing of every pivot, reversal, and meltdown as visionary flexibility.

When strategy keeps adapting, design systems that survive variation: modularity, flexible permissions, progressive enhancement. Outpace change by being ready for it.

The act of fooling an AI with tiny tweaks it can’t see but that ruin everything.

In critical flows, design for anomaly reporting. Give users a way to flag weirdness without assuming they’ll explain it perfectly.

The practice of turning satisfied customers into unpaid marketers. Incentives optional, expectations infinite.

People don’t advocate because they were nudged into a loyalty tier. They advocate because you made them feel smart, seen, or powerful. Design with that humility.

When AIs behave like flocks, herds, or mobs — often dumber together than alone.

If AI crowd behaviors affect users, design moderation flows that can tame swarms without punishing individuals.

A spiritual guide who reminds everyone that standups, retros, and vague optimism are the path to enlightenment. Actual progress not guaranteed.

Agile coaches can be protectors or priests. If they’re the latter, design quietly around the dogma until users get what they actually need.